Tear jerker slash long post.
For anyone who has supported me for the last 6 years and are reading this, I am so grateful for your virtual time. It has been a pleasure sharing my roller coaster photography life with ya'll.
About 2-3 years ago I lost track of who I was as a photographer and what I truly wanted to shoot. I lost my passion. I stopped shooting things I love and shot what was expected of me. I would stop and think about every single word/post making sure it was PG, not offending anyone, not alcohol related not this and that.. because I had created this super cookie cutter persona called Brownie. But, what people didn't understand is that Brownie and Kathy are the same person. LOL Only I have a permanent tan. #imsofunny #dontbejelly
I started thinking maybe I'm nuts. But, then I had a mishap happen on my Facebook page where I cursed when the Miami Heat won the championship! #heckyeah And hell froze over. #literally
To this day I still think it's silly that I was torn apart by strangers for cursing over my excitement. #firstworldproblems It wasn't directed to anyone nor did I do it to stir drama. It was meant for my personal Facebook and apparently I didn't switch. #ripblackberry But, you see I never apologized for it, cause well I curse when the Miami Heat win championships! That's that.
However, I started "acting" like someone who wasn't me and did it to please virtual strangers. I would shoot kid parties, newborns, etc.. just so people would see "Hey! I'm super PG and you need to hire me because I can make a kid laugh!" #kidsloveme
Unless you met me in person you truly saw that I'm the best thing since sliced bread. I'm still Brownie, sweet thang who loves life but, I also am 30 and just like you. I love me some Johnnie. I love to laugh a lot. I take pictures kissing my boyfriend and documenting out love. I travel and go wild and free! I love to try new beers all the time. I wear shirts with sarcastic and funny sayings. I hold a kid while drinking a beer at a party. I dress up when I go out. #scandalous I stay out late and still work the next day! I also, go to church twice a month and thank God for my blessings. I adore my mom. I am human.
The more time passes, the more I realize I don't love weddings, I like them. I don't love shooting newborns, I just love snuggling with them. I love shooting families but, not all the time. But, I love love and I love shooting people who accept me as I am.
It's time to close one chapter and start fresh with another.
My point is I think we all go through several moments in our life when we can choose to let strangers, family, and/or peers discourage us from what we FEEL and BELIEVE is something we WANT and LOVE. Even when you fall out off the rails of your path, remember someone out there believes in you... and that person is YOU.
You are amazing,